Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The Analogy of a Tick

Disclaimer: For ease of writing any reference to a parasite in this article is in the masculine and the host is in the feminine. This in no way implies that all parasites are masculine and all hosts feminine. Switch it around!

We have removed a lot of ticks off our two dogs this season and I can’t help but want to use the tick as an analogy of a parasitic energy such as a narcissist.

A tick hops on the dog when it needs to feed. It is but a small insect but as it embeds into the flesh of the dog it begins to feed on its blood and grows larger and larger. When it gets its fill of blood it jumps back off and lives for a time on the food it has consumed. But after a time the food is gone and the tick seeks out the closest supply of blood he can find to puff his little body back up again. Sound familiar?

Since we usually find the tick before it can feast and exit we have to go through the grueling process of extracting the tick from the dog. First we douse it in alcohol and then we grab it with a pair of tweezers and gently pull until the tick finally tires of holding on and lets go. At that point we drown it in alcohol.

If we are not careful in the extraction of the tick and pull too hard we may separate its head from its body and the head will still be embedded in our dog, which is not good. And so the process of extraction is incredibly important.

Narcissistic people are parasitic. But they are wise enough to attach to the next source of food while they are still puffed up from the last source. This way they appear big and strong and worthy of attention and the prey doesn’t notice that his intentions are to suck the lifeblood out of her. In fact she doesn’t even know that she is prey.

In some cases when the parasite doesn’t find a new source of feed in time he may appear downright desperate and distraught. He then must seek out a soft hearted caretaker who is willing to nurse his wounds while he attaches himself to her.

After a time of having the parasite feeding off her life force energy the host, or prey, begins to feel depleted. She loses energy. She begins to feel like something isn’t right. She makes the fatal mistake of turning to the parasite for comfort and reassurance. Now he must do some fancy footwork to cover up his intentions (sucking the life out of her) and in order to keep her going on about her business oblivious to what is really going on he uses this opportunity to enforce in her doubt, insecurity, and a sense of worthlessness. This causes her to feel so badly about herself that she doesn’t realize she has a blood sucking parasite on her back.
When she does FINALLY realize what is going on she has to go through the long grueling process of extraction. Or in some cases he exhausts his source and hops off in search of a new one leaving her wondering what just happened. He seemed so attached to her. He was! Literally!

But that attachment was for the purpose of sucking the life out of her. She believed it was love. Now, having had her energy sucked dry she is not only depleted, but duped! She has been betrayed by the energy sucking parasite that came with promises of love, bliss and happiness.
For those who have discovered the nature of the beast early, then the long grueling process of extraction must take place.


  1. Brilliant! You just explained something with such clarity (love the tic metaphor) that always confused me. I was always so exhausted yet always being told by my N to stop complaining, do more exercise, eat better, go to bed earlier etc etc ie it was my fault I was exhausted so sort it out. When it was actually him depleting my energy with his constant demands for attention! He jumped off me a few weeks back. I suddenly have a great deal of energy ;)

  2. Absolutely amazing. My tick left me thirteen months ago and I'm still recovering. The removal process was, and still is, grueling as you state. Thank you for your words of encouragement. ~Tracy.

  3. Here's what I don't get: You are selling us this idea that you have recovered from this asshole, and you are helping other people recover. In reality you are still under his shadow. Why the obsession with NPD? I don't understand why anyone would read a book written from someone so broken, especially if the book is about becoming stronger. Soul rape? How can you compare yourself to a rape victim. He manipulated you because you were insecure. Your therapist gave YOU medication not him. You are the one who's crazy. You aren't a survivor you are a fool.