Thursday, November 12, 2009

Spiritual Narcissism On The Radio

The Age of Spiritual Narcissism! What We Can Learn From The Sedona, Arizona Sweat Lodge Tragedy.

Kaleah LaRoche, One of the leading authorities of narcissistic abuse, talks about spiritual narcissism and how it comes into play in events like the Sedona, Arizona Sweat Lodge tragedy led by Spiritual Guru James Ray. What causes people to follow a leader into dangerous situations? What causes a leader or teacher to put his students lives at risk? What is it about the current human condition that is causing so many people to abandon their own intuitive natures putting their faith and trust in a spiritual guru, or organized religion?

Join Kaleah and the creator of Sedona Talk Radio Daniel Stief and other special guests as they talk about these important topics that are shaking the foundation of todays spiritual movement.

Karmic Repercussions of the Narcissist

One of the most popular questions from my clients is...."do you believe karma will play out in this situation?" I always say "yes but you may not be around to see it." And that is in a good way. It is sort of like waiting for a pot of water to boil. You know how they say "a watched pot never boils?" Well a watched Narcissist doesn't have karmic repercussions. That is a huge generalization of course. But we don't often have the opportunity to see the whole story play out on the other end. We are too wrapped up in our own stories anyway and it is so easy to project all that we feel we are not getting in our lives onto the Narcissist.

I wrote about this in my song "Dancing with the Shadow." Songs have always been a powerful outlet for me to express these thoughts and feelings.

I see my reflection
I see your projection
You own the good
Give me the Bad
You are happy
I am sad

It seems that often in a narcissistic relationship that the Narcissist is getting "our good!" But truly universal law doesn't work that way. Someone can't really take "our good."

But it can appear that way. Ironically we can take on the "bad" of the Narcissist by unconsciously carrying his repressed emotional baggage. I think this is what gives the whole situation the illusion of him walking off into the sunset in bliss while we are left dealing with all the dark energy of the relationship.

Women are also receptacles who take in the energy of the men we are intimate with into our bodies, our souls and our psyches. Women are like the processors. We transmute energy, by our very nature. But if the energy we are being give to transmute is too toxic or heavy we get really clogged up and weighed down. So what do we do with this energy? Send it back to whence it came! It is energy and you are the conductor of it.

Perhaps this is what witchcraft is about, besides practicing herbology. But it is learning to master the energy. Once we master the energy we can use our knowledge for good or bad in the world. But Karmic law says "what we put out returns to us tenfold." So those who project dark and negative energy will have that come back to them in a big way. If this law holds true then nobody can really get away with dumping their toxic baggage on another without suffering huge consequences. But the consequences may not look like we think they should.

For example...if your ex N seems to be happily hooked up with someone else, perhaps there is something else going on entirely than what meets the eye. It is easy to assume because he has someone in his life and you are alone that he has "moved on" and is happy. But if he is a parasite then it is simply his nature to feed on the soul energy of another. Do you think parasites love that which they feed upon? It is a symbiotic relationship. The N. feeds upon his partner and she gives him her energy in exchange for the illusion of love and security. But when she is all used up he discards her and her illusion crumbles. Suddenly she realizes there is no real love and certainly no security. But by now he is off creating that same symbiotic relationship with another because it is his nature to feed upon the energy of another. Yet we romanticize the whole thing and believe that because our illusion wasn’t real that it is real with someone else. But the N. is an illusionary creature. Nothing is real!

We project this ideal upon the Narcissist believing he is happy and blissful but how happy can one be who is dependent upon an outside source for his energy?

You and I are solar creatures. We get our energy from the source of life itself. We can recharge our batteries by self care, nurturing, good food, fresh water and sunlight as well as direct communion with God, the source, the divine. This is the true recipe for happiness, peace and contentment in ones life.

The Narcissist on the other hand, is a parasite and gets his energy from others. He has no direct connection to the source. Which also means his capacity for true happiness is severely limited. What we witness is his living off the happiness of others and the length of that symbiotic relationship greatly depends on the partners ability to recharge her own battery fast enough before he depletes her. At some point she will not be able to recharge at the rate that he is draining her energy and she will go under. Because he greatly depends on her energy if it is not available to him he will get angry and dispose of her. The relationship is over when the source can no longer feed the parasite.

So why do we often envy the new source? I think the main reason is that the new source still has energy. She still has the added energy of the illusion which can be really powerful. In our Cinderella stories we wait our entire lives for our prince and the narcissist gives us the illusion that the prince has arrived. We don’t want to face the reality that there is no prince. The prince is simply an archetype. He doesn’t exist! He doesn’t exist for us or any other Cinderella out there.

The true marriage of the prince and princess is the divine union of the masculine and feminine energies within each one of us. It is what makes us whole and complete within ourselves without the need for another in our lives. When we successfully experience this “divine marriage” we are truly ready for a relationship with another because we are no longer depending upon that person to fulfill us or to complete us!

I believe our true happiness comes from this inner fulfillment; experiencing the divine marriage of our inner prince and princess. The narcissist can never have that experience because he will forever be seeking a host for his desperate needs, never truly having the experience of completion or fulfillment. And isn’t that what true happiness is?

We really are fortunate that the we are no longer playing the role of the host for the parasite. We are fortunate that the illusion has crumbled and we have the opportunity to see the reality of the situation. Yes, it may be painful, but it is truly the precursor to finding ourselves in a way we might not have been able to when we were still searching for our prince out there!