One of the most popular questions from my clients is...."do you believe karma will play out in this situation?" I always say "yes but you may not be around to see it." And that is in a good way. It is sort of like waiting for a pot of water to boil. You know how they say "a watched pot never boils?" Well a watched Narcissist doesn't have karmic repercussions. That is a huge generalization of course. But we don't often have the opportunity to see the whole story play out on the other end. We are too wrapped up in our own stories anyway and it is so easy to project all that we feel we are not getting in our lives onto the Narcissist.
I wrote about this in my song "Dancing with the Shadow." Songs have always been a powerful outlet for me to express these thoughts and feelings.
I see my reflection
I see your projection
You own the good
Give me the Bad
You are happy
I am sad
It seems that often in a narcissistic relationship that the Narcissist is getting "our good!" But truly universal law doesn't work that way. Someone can't really take "our good."
But it can appear that way. Ironically we can take on the "bad" of the Narcissist by unconsciously carrying his repressed emotional baggage. I think this is what gives the whole situation the illusion of him walking off into the sunset in bliss while we are left dealing with all the dark energy of the relationship.
Women are also receptacles who take in the energy of the men we are intimate with into our bodies, our souls and our psyches. Women are like the processors. We transmute energy, by our very nature. But if the energy we are being give to transmute is too toxic or heavy we get really clogged up and weighed down. So what do we do with this energy? Send it back to whence it came! It is energy and you are the conductor of it.
Perhaps this is what witchcraft is about, besides practicing herbology. But it is learning to master the energy. Once we master the energy we can use our knowledge for good or bad in the world. But Karmic law says "what we put out returns to us tenfold." So those who project dark and negative energy will have that come back to them in a big way. If this law holds true then nobody can really get away with dumping their toxic baggage on another without suffering huge consequences. But the consequences may not look like we think they should.
For example...if your ex N seems to be happily hooked up with someone else, perhaps there is something else going on entirely than what meets the eye. It is easy to assume because he has someone in his life and you are alone that he has "moved on" and is happy. But if he is a parasite then it is simply his nature to feed on the soul energy of another. Do you think parasites love that which they feed upon? It is a symbiotic relationship. The N. feeds upon his partner and she gives him her energy in exchange for the illusion of love and security. But when she is all used up he discards her and her illusion crumbles. Suddenly she realizes there is no real love and certainly no security. But by now he is off creating that same symbiotic relationship with another because it is his nature to feed upon the energy of another. Yet we romanticize the whole thing and believe that because our illusion wasn’t real that it is real with someone else. But the N. is an illusionary creature. Nothing is real!
We project this ideal upon the Narcissist believing he is happy and blissful but how happy can one be who is dependent upon an outside source for his energy?
You and I are solar creatures. We get our energy from the source of life itself. We can recharge our batteries by self care, nurturing, good food, fresh water and sunlight as well as direct communion with God, the source, the divine. This is the true recipe for happiness, peace and contentment in ones life.
The Narcissist on the other hand, is a parasite and gets his energy from others. He has no direct connection to the source. Which also means his capacity for true happiness is severely limited. What we witness is his living off the happiness of others and the length of that symbiotic relationship greatly depends on the partners ability to recharge her own battery fast enough before he depletes her. At some point she will not be able to recharge at the rate that he is draining her energy and she will go under. Because he greatly depends on her energy if it is not available to him he will get angry and dispose of her. The relationship is over when the source can no longer feed the parasite.
So why do we often envy the new source? I think the main reason is that the new source still has energy. She still has the added energy of the illusion which can be really powerful. In our Cinderella stories we wait our entire lives for our prince and the narcissist gives us the illusion that the prince has arrived. We don’t want to face the reality that there is no prince. The prince is simply an archetype. He doesn’t exist! He doesn’t exist for us or any other Cinderella out there.
The true marriage of the prince and princess is the divine union of the masculine and feminine energies within each one of us. It is what makes us whole and complete within ourselves without the need for another in our lives. When we successfully experience this “divine marriage” we are truly ready for a relationship with another because we are no longer depending upon that person to fulfill us or to complete us!
I believe our true happiness comes from this inner fulfillment; experiencing the divine marriage of our inner prince and princess. The narcissist can never have that experience because he will forever be seeking a host for his desperate needs, never truly having the experience of completion or fulfillment. And isn’t that what true happiness is?
We really are fortunate that the we are no longer playing the role of the host for the parasite. We are fortunate that the illusion has crumbled and we have the opportunity to see the reality of the situation. Yes, it may be painful, but it is truly the precursor to finding ourselves in a way we might not have been able to when we were still searching for our prince out there!
This is one of the best articles I have read. I would like to repost it somewhere. Is that possible? joanneryan@rock.com
ReplyDeleteAfter 12 years of narcissistic abuse , having lost all confidence on self , shattered , I feel by far this is the best article I came across which helps understanding the journey of life.
ReplyDeleteI'VE BEEN ONLY IN ONE FOR A YEAR,and wow life changing!been out for a month and things have improved incredible the end scene of human bondage where the dark clouds break and the sun appears.
ReplyDeleteWow... so true
ReplyDeleteOver the weekend I was beaten by narcissistic ex boyfriend. He had brought a prostitute to have sex with me. I refused and I was choked, bite on my face and finger as well as hit in the head because I wouldn't devalue myself. He called police on me because I eventually started fighting back. I removed my belongings. Police agreed that he had to protect himself. I have cried nonstop and began searching his behavior and no he doesn't have remorse, he blames me for everything that went wrong. I have my eyes open but I refuse to run and hide I know who he is and I won't be a victim any more. Thank you for this blog I thought I was crazy.
ReplyDeleteGet rid of "Prince Charming"...who would want him anyway? Sounds like a dull individual. I hate Disney for this. Life is complicated and strange; it is no fairytale. The Dean of a junior college I attended made the mistake of telling my class that I was "sitting around waiting for Prince Charming to come into my life." Does the Prince fit in with sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll? What century did this crazy Dean come from? I didn't get married until I was 35. We both wanted travel above anything else. Not a Disney kingdom which I found repulsive. No family for me...just give me the great outdoors.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this article. I'm currently dealing with a N though we've been split up for four years. His N mother left marks on my daughter, called CPS son me and tried to use me as the scapegoat. After the case was found unsubstantiated, ex partner N filed a joint custody petition painting him as a victim of an angry woman who refused to let him see his daughter. He has a prominent lawyer (bully too) as an aunt. My lawyer worked in collusion with them to get a public defender job in macon, ga. (I wrote the state bar but they defended her). The judge ate up their victim based story and granted them unsupervised visits. For the last year and a half my four year old daughter has returned from these unsupervised visits with shorter hair, complaining of her privates hurting, knowing what a penis and ejaculate is, and was given "golden showers" by her father. I've contact CPS, child advocate centers, and police. All ex N had to do was stride in with his lawyer aunt, play the victim, and reverse the blame on me. It's sickening and disheartening bc he and his family will stop st nothing to get their way, destroy my daughter, and use me as a scapegoat to hide their dirty work. The state of GA gave him legal immunity, so he's free to molest my daughter behind closed doors with no reprocussions. He's $1700 behind in child support and lost his license. Yet karma keeps slipping past him. I'm still trying to turn my life around for the better. This has tested my faith in God bc this seems never ending. I can't afford to move out of state and even when I can I have to save up to take him to court to the same judge that bought his bull to have the order modified. Even then he will accuse me of "keeping his daughter from him," as if he's a victim. They say nothing lasts forever and four years with a small daughter knowing adult things is a headache and nightmare. Please pray for me and my daughter. He, his (immature) mother, & aunt has cost my family $10k, defamed me, made me a scapegoat, and played the victims coming out on top. I've lost hope in karma because he's never had to deal with consequences of his actions. I'm exhausted, tired, and weary. I've lost my friends, had financial and employment hardships all while he's thrived. I know life isn't fair and karma doesn't always come back on those who harmed (forget me) my child.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry about your situation. I will keep you in my prayers. I just left an abusive marriage with a narcissistic man. I endured 26 years of him raping me , cheating on me and trying to make me think I am going crazy. Have you tried the domestic abuse hotline for help. Maybe they can direct you to an attorney for help and also free therapy. Abuse is just not physical. It is emtional, mental verbal, and psychological. The national domestic hotline is 1800-799-7233. They can direct you to services that can help on your area. Other sites that may help is Melonie Tonia Evans, Queenbeing, Pyschopaths and Love, True Love Scam, Love Fraud. Another wonderful site is jw.org . You can read or listen to the Bible. I found listening to the Bible of great comfort- particularly the Psalms. Read orlisten to Pslams, 18, 20, 23, 27, 34 . I will keep you in my prayers! Jehovah God is near to those that are broken at heart. And those crushed in spirit he saves."- Psalm 34:18
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry about your situation. I will keep you in my prayers. I just left an abusive marriage with a narcissistic man. I endured 26 years of him raping me , cheating on me and trying to make me think I am going crazy. Have you tried the domestic abuse hotline for help. Maybe they can direct you to an attorney for help and also free therapy. Abuse is just not physical. It is emotional, mental verbal, and psychological. The national domestic hotline is 1800-799-7233. They can direct you to services that can help in your area. Other sites that may help is Melonie Tonia Evans, Queenbeing, Pyschopaths and Love, True Love Scam, Love Fraud. Another wonderful site is jw.org . You can read or listen to the Bible. I found listening to the Bible of great comfort- particularly the Psalms. Read orlisten to Pslams, 18, 20, 23, 27, 34 . I will keep you in my prayers! Jehovah God is near to those that are broken at heart. And those crushed in spirit he saves."- Psalm 34:18
ReplyDeleteI’m so excited because my broken marriage has been restored & my husband is back after he left me and our 2 kids for another woman. After 8 years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. i felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that DR.Osasu can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a (Love spell) for me. 28 hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before,All thanks to DR.Osasu . he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that DR.Osasu real and powerful spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your Ex back or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. Here’s his contact: Email him at:Account:
ReplyDeletedrosasu25@gmail.com , you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2347064365391,THANKS TO DR. Osasu