For a narcissistic parasite the most powerful method of extraction is starvation. You must completely withdraw your energy from the parasite until it is forced to go elsewhere for food. You do this by ignoring him completely. Don’t react, don’t respond, don’t engage!!! ZERO attention!
It is extremely important that you put your emotions aside during this process. You must NOT under any circumstances entertain the illusion of love that was created to suck you in. Think about it. It worked the first time, why wouldn’t he keep trying to convince you? He doesn’t want to lose a food source.
But if you starve the beast he will eventually go elsewhere. Ignore his hissy fits, his attempts at manipulation, and his attempt to get attention from you, whether positive or negative. If he gets violent or abusive call the cops! If he lives with you and it is your house, put his stuff out and change the locks. If he lives with you and it’s his house, move! If he lives with you and it’s both of your house, get an attorney.
The biggest problem most people have when extracting a parasite is that he or she is softhearted and doesn’t want to hurt the little bugger. Come ON! Get over it! He’s sucking the life out of you! You’ve got to grow a set of balls! Yes women, you too!
Sometimes our emotions get in the way of doing what’s right. And extracting a parasite is the right thing to do!
“But He’s a human being!”
Really?
Why do we want to get all soft with parasitic energies?
You know those movies where a woman finds out her guy is with three other women and so she contacts all the women and they are all waiting for him when he shows up for a date with one of them? Why don’t we do that? Because we don’t want to hurt his feelings? We don’t want to embarrass him? Or worse yet we don’t want to face the truth…that he is a life force sucking parasite.
The denial that you have a tick on your back is the worst kind of denial. A parasite sucks! Really!
Do you think he is going to give you a second thought when he is all hooked up to another host? And you are concerned about hurting his feelings? I have news for you. His feelings are so deeply buried that there is nothing to hurt. What you are hurting is his ego and his food supply. He has obviously shown you by now that he has no concern for your feelings. Why should you have concern for his? Really!
Why do we need to be so nice? Why do we need to care so much? Care for those who deserve caring! Be nice to those who deserve kindness. This is the time to get in touch with your inner bitch kitty! Let her out! Let him call you every vile, nasty, hateful thing in the book! Its O.K. Really! He’s just reacting because he’s not getting his way!
"Oh but I want him to see that I’m really a good person!”
Get over it! If your hook is having him see you as a good, kind, loving, attractive, sexy or smart person then you are going to lose! Really!
Let yourself be the Black Madonna! Let the roomers fly that you are the biggest fattest bitch on earth! Wow what a title! Be proud of it! Be worthy of it! Show him he is right!
Don’t try and prove yourself to him! He’s a parasite! What is there to prove to a parasite? Really!
When you have a parasite sucking your life-force it isn’t the time to be soft and gentle! It is time to be the beast! Rip that sucker out be the short and curlys.
Oh I was talking about gentle extraction wasn’t I? I got carried away.
Gentle extraction of a narcissistic parasite would involve starving him until he falls off.
And while you are starving him, feed yourself! Get your energy back. He hasn’t broken you. Not yet! But he will! If you don’t starve him! Give him even the slightest hint of food and he will jump back on and suck away.
Keep a journal and document what happens when you starve a parasite.
“Should I warn the new host that he is a parasite?”
Are you kidding me? And risk having him come back to you? Let him feast! She’ll figure it out soon enough.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
The Age of Narcissism and the Emergence of the Feminine
I know it has been a while since I’ve touched based with you. My life has been a whirlwind of change and the accompanying emotional chaos. One thing I have realized about being a highly creative person is that I am always blooming with ideas and have my hands in far too many pots. I released my third CD Emergence last winter, am working on a new book, which is slow in the development, and also attempting to purchase the home on twenty acres that we are renting so that we can create a healing retreat center for people to come and have one-on-one healing sessions in a quiet, sacred environment.
In addition we have had people at our home for two months straight. Family visiting for my son’s highschool graduation, WWOOFERs here to help us plant our vegetable garden and clean up the property, friends on vacation and more family on vacation. I always loved the idea of having a place where people could come and heal, but at the same time I realize how much I need my peace in order to create and accomplish anything. So at the moment I am seeking balance and finding a way to create the retreat for part-time guests and also have plenty of time each month for myself and my work.
My work has been another area of confusion in my life. I love the work I am doing with narcissism and empowering women but there are times I need a break from having my life be about narcissism. Like many of you, the more I understand narcissism the more I see it around me. I am now convinced it is a worldwide epidemic.
As a spiritual seeker I have had to really go within and reflect on the issue of narcissism in our world. I have seen it in my love life, in my friendships, in my family, extended family, workplace, and also corporate America, the church and our government. I have seen people who seem to be bi-polar but have strong narcissistic characteristics. I have seen those characteristics in my own teenage son and many of my clients express concern over those same characteristics in their teenagers. I call it teenage narcissism.
Last winter I was interviewed by a woman on a radio show in Vancouver B.C. on the topic of narcissism. But when she started asking all the common questions about narcissism I found that I just couldn’t answer them the same way anymore. I knew that narcissism extended well beyond the personality disorder we all know about. It is more than a personality disorder. It is a spiritual disorder. This is why so many of you are not finding relief by visiting a psychologist. Although there is a strong psychological element, there is something far deeper going on. I’ve known this for a long time but as I go deeper into my work with narcissism I go deeper into my understanding that we are dealing with nothing short of a spiritual crisis in our world. Narcissism is the epitome of our lack of humanity.
I look at the Gulf Oil Spill and BP’s attitude of “Oh the Gulf of Mexico is a big Ocean why are you getting your panties in a wad?” There is that strong attempt to suppress our deep concern for the destruction of our planet. But we also need to stop and look at our own contribution to the sickness by looking at our dependency on what these large corporate entities provide us, like fossil fuels. Are we really ready to go out into the world tomorrow without gasoline for our vehicles? Are we willing to change our life so much that we no longer need the things government and Big Corporation provide?
It seems we are just as dependent upon the narcissistic entity to keep us comfortably numb in our material world as the narcissistic entity is upon us to support it. It is a symbiotic relationship where the narcissist not only needs what we have, but we need what he has. On a personal level I see that our major hook is our need to be admired, approved of, showered with attention, and made to believe we are special. We get that initially! We also get the promise of spiritual salvation from the church, the promise of security, hope and change from the government, the promise of health from the medical/pharmaceutical industries and the promise of progress and simplified life from big Corporation. But truly they are all empty promises. The more we put our faith in these outside entities the more we are misled.
Our personal experience with narcissism, the one that brought you to my Website is only a microcosm of the macrocosm. We are having the opportunity to experience what narcissism really looks like up close and personal. It is destructive! It cares nothing for humanity! It has no basis in love, caring, compassion or empathy. It is the expression of the worn out, dying patriarchal energy that has created an extreme lack of balance on our planet.
But the good news is that things are really shifting. I see this too. I see all these women coming to me that are going through their own process of spiritual awakening. They are stepping into their power and refusing to be unconscious. And there are many men who are writing to me as well and sharing their experiences of letting go of narcissistic mates. Because whether one is a man or a woman that patriarchal narcissistic energy can take root and control one’s life. I notice more narcissism in men than women because men are more conditioned to be narcissistic. The masculine nature is more rooted in the intellect, physical strength, extroverted, dominant and outwardly materialistic. The feminine nature is more intuitive, introverted, compassionate, empathetic, nurturing and inwardly spiritualistic. Yet both men and women possess masculine and feminine characteristics. And as our world evolves we are moving towards the balance of the masculine and feminine energies not only within each one of us, but also on our planet.
Because we are moving towards this masculine/feminine balance the age of patriarchal control and domination is coming to an end. But whenever something is in its last days it seems to get stronger, bigger, darker and more visible. And this is why we are seeing a surge in narcissism all over the planet.
Along with the surge in narcissism, however, is the emergence of the feminine. The feminine is finding its voice, is taking back its power and realizing that those qualities of nurturing, compassion, empathy, and intuition are crucial for the survival of our planet. The lion sleeps no more! The lioness is coming out and we hear her roar! She is the mother bear who will no longer stand by and allow the patriarchal, narcissistic energies to destroy our planet. And if you are one of those women, or men, who are waking up from a long, deep sleep to find that the one you have been sleeping with is plagued by narcissism, then you have work to do. This work is not just personal! It is global! By waking up, stepping fully into your power, finding your voice and also your purpose for being here, you are contributing to the emergence of the feminine into her rightful place alongside the masculine. We are no longer allowing ourselves to be dominated, controlled, suppressed, and made to feel we are somehow inferior! That game is over! It is time to be who you have come here to be.
As I step back and look at what I have been doing in the past year I see my CD “Emergence” which is the soundtrack for the emerging feminine energy. I see the work I am doing with narcissism which truly is more about facilitating the emergence of the feminine energy. I also see my passion and focus on natural, fresh living food and health, which is necessary for us to heal and get off the medication of processed and poisoned food provided for us by yours truly, the narcissistic corporate entity that could care less about your health. It is all important!
As we awaken we must awaken to the truth about the darkness we have been living in. We must find the strength within ourselves to unplug from the narcissistic world, and stop supporting it with our time, money and energy. And this is my focus! Helping people to unplug, to find their strength and their power, and reconnect with that feminine energy within is really what I am passionate about doing. And I invite you to consider your life and purpose as well. While in the midst of personal crisis it may seem you are without purpose. But perhaps you are really going through your own process of emergence which will take you more fully into your true self and allow you to do your part in facilitating the emergence of the feminine in a patriarchal, narcissistic world.
In addition we have had people at our home for two months straight. Family visiting for my son’s highschool graduation, WWOOFERs here to help us plant our vegetable garden and clean up the property, friends on vacation and more family on vacation. I always loved the idea of having a place where people could come and heal, but at the same time I realize how much I need my peace in order to create and accomplish anything. So at the moment I am seeking balance and finding a way to create the retreat for part-time guests and also have plenty of time each month for myself and my work.
My work has been another area of confusion in my life. I love the work I am doing with narcissism and empowering women but there are times I need a break from having my life be about narcissism. Like many of you, the more I understand narcissism the more I see it around me. I am now convinced it is a worldwide epidemic.
As a spiritual seeker I have had to really go within and reflect on the issue of narcissism in our world. I have seen it in my love life, in my friendships, in my family, extended family, workplace, and also corporate America, the church and our government. I have seen people who seem to be bi-polar but have strong narcissistic characteristics. I have seen those characteristics in my own teenage son and many of my clients express concern over those same characteristics in their teenagers. I call it teenage narcissism.
Last winter I was interviewed by a woman on a radio show in Vancouver B.C. on the topic of narcissism. But when she started asking all the common questions about narcissism I found that I just couldn’t answer them the same way anymore. I knew that narcissism extended well beyond the personality disorder we all know about. It is more than a personality disorder. It is a spiritual disorder. This is why so many of you are not finding relief by visiting a psychologist. Although there is a strong psychological element, there is something far deeper going on. I’ve known this for a long time but as I go deeper into my work with narcissism I go deeper into my understanding that we are dealing with nothing short of a spiritual crisis in our world. Narcissism is the epitome of our lack of humanity.
I look at the Gulf Oil Spill and BP’s attitude of “Oh the Gulf of Mexico is a big Ocean why are you getting your panties in a wad?” There is that strong attempt to suppress our deep concern for the destruction of our planet. But we also need to stop and look at our own contribution to the sickness by looking at our dependency on what these large corporate entities provide us, like fossil fuels. Are we really ready to go out into the world tomorrow without gasoline for our vehicles? Are we willing to change our life so much that we no longer need the things government and Big Corporation provide?
It seems we are just as dependent upon the narcissistic entity to keep us comfortably numb in our material world as the narcissistic entity is upon us to support it. It is a symbiotic relationship where the narcissist not only needs what we have, but we need what he has. On a personal level I see that our major hook is our need to be admired, approved of, showered with attention, and made to believe we are special. We get that initially! We also get the promise of spiritual salvation from the church, the promise of security, hope and change from the government, the promise of health from the medical/pharmaceutical industries and the promise of progress and simplified life from big Corporation. But truly they are all empty promises. The more we put our faith in these outside entities the more we are misled.
Our personal experience with narcissism, the one that brought you to my Website is only a microcosm of the macrocosm. We are having the opportunity to experience what narcissism really looks like up close and personal. It is destructive! It cares nothing for humanity! It has no basis in love, caring, compassion or empathy. It is the expression of the worn out, dying patriarchal energy that has created an extreme lack of balance on our planet.
But the good news is that things are really shifting. I see this too. I see all these women coming to me that are going through their own process of spiritual awakening. They are stepping into their power and refusing to be unconscious. And there are many men who are writing to me as well and sharing their experiences of letting go of narcissistic mates. Because whether one is a man or a woman that patriarchal narcissistic energy can take root and control one’s life. I notice more narcissism in men than women because men are more conditioned to be narcissistic. The masculine nature is more rooted in the intellect, physical strength, extroverted, dominant and outwardly materialistic. The feminine nature is more intuitive, introverted, compassionate, empathetic, nurturing and inwardly spiritualistic. Yet both men and women possess masculine and feminine characteristics. And as our world evolves we are moving towards the balance of the masculine and feminine energies not only within each one of us, but also on our planet.
Because we are moving towards this masculine/feminine balance the age of patriarchal control and domination is coming to an end. But whenever something is in its last days it seems to get stronger, bigger, darker and more visible. And this is why we are seeing a surge in narcissism all over the planet.
Along with the surge in narcissism, however, is the emergence of the feminine. The feminine is finding its voice, is taking back its power and realizing that those qualities of nurturing, compassion, empathy, and intuition are crucial for the survival of our planet. The lion sleeps no more! The lioness is coming out and we hear her roar! She is the mother bear who will no longer stand by and allow the patriarchal, narcissistic energies to destroy our planet. And if you are one of those women, or men, who are waking up from a long, deep sleep to find that the one you have been sleeping with is plagued by narcissism, then you have work to do. This work is not just personal! It is global! By waking up, stepping fully into your power, finding your voice and also your purpose for being here, you are contributing to the emergence of the feminine into her rightful place alongside the masculine. We are no longer allowing ourselves to be dominated, controlled, suppressed, and made to feel we are somehow inferior! That game is over! It is time to be who you have come here to be.
As I step back and look at what I have been doing in the past year I see my CD “Emergence” which is the soundtrack for the emerging feminine energy. I see the work I am doing with narcissism which truly is more about facilitating the emergence of the feminine energy. I also see my passion and focus on natural, fresh living food and health, which is necessary for us to heal and get off the medication of processed and poisoned food provided for us by yours truly, the narcissistic corporate entity that could care less about your health. It is all important!
As we awaken we must awaken to the truth about the darkness we have been living in. We must find the strength within ourselves to unplug from the narcissistic world, and stop supporting it with our time, money and energy. And this is my focus! Helping people to unplug, to find their strength and their power, and reconnect with that feminine energy within is really what I am passionate about doing. And I invite you to consider your life and purpose as well. While in the midst of personal crisis it may seem you are without purpose. But perhaps you are really going through your own process of emergence which will take you more fully into your true self and allow you to do your part in facilitating the emergence of the feminine in a patriarchal, narcissistic world.
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